About Me....yeah, right.....

So, this is a dream coming to reality for me. I have secretly always wanted to be a writer. Having been recently inspired by the movie, "Julie and Julia"....and armed with all the knowledge I gleaned from On Writing (Stephen King).... I am certain that I will be a famous author and wealthy beyond my wildest dreams any second now. Well, I should say I WAS certain, until I hit my first minor obstacle like a brick wall...

I designed my blog page with careful consideration, and an eye trained by millions of Printmaster projects. I can take a photo, and make you a beautiful Christmas card, buddy. I can take a few sentences of rushed 6th-grade "research" (usually sourced from Wikipedia) and some clip art, and crank out an authentic-looking 1830's newspaper front-page inside of half an hour. But, I digress...

I laid out, then published, this adorable blog page, and titled it with my favorite line from a book I just finished (one of the best books I have read in many years), Watership Down. Pleased with myself, and impressed with my own wit (as I so often solely am), I took a deep breath and hit "PUBLISH" with confidence. Two seconds later, I saw it. Staring at me. Mocking me. The little section at the lower left. See it?? "About Me"

I rolled my eyes, and hit the innocent-looking edit wrench. How could something so cartoony-cute lead me down a path of tearful self-discovery? For it was while staring at the blank "Tell us about yourself" box (can't you just hear it spoken in a fake cheerful voice??), that I realize that most everything I know about ME is really defined by someone ELSE.

How am I known? Well, I am Grace's mom (as well as Momma to 5 others). I am Leader to Girl Scout Troop #43666. I am daughter of Wade, a Pastor in the area, who knows just about every living soul in a 3-county radius. I am wife of Paul, the Electrical Contractor that was born and raised not 5 miles from where I now sit. I am a PTC officer at the elementary school. I am the lady who comes in and out of the local schools, making copies and running errands for teachers, always with a toddler or two in tow. I am the frazzled one with all the kids at the grocery store every week. I am the one whose daughter died 6 years ago, and "never got over it".

On the first day of school a few years back, my second daughter was starting 1st grade. Her teacher, who is now one of my dearest friends), sent home with Annie a "homework" assignment for the parents. Annie was so thrilled to give ME homework after her first day; it was a blank page with "Tell me about your child..." written at the top. I sat down to give the teacher the heads up that Annie was a shy kid who hadn't been to public school before. Thirty minutes later, I sat crying silent tears in front of 2 pages of descriptive narrative of who my daughter really was. I don't know where it came from, but I felt like the more I tried to be brief, the more I could never sum her up in a paragraph or two.... that somehow it was unfair to her to even try. Since then, I have eagerly opened backpacks on the first day of school each fall, hoping that there are still teachers who want to know about my kids. There are some, thankfully. I hope I haven't scared them all off, with my heartfelt ramblings about my children.

Yet, after finally taking the time away from a million things that I "should" be doing to start this writing project for myself, I cannot complete the "About Me" section. Now I have a new goal for this blog, to add to my list, I guess.I hope SOMEONE reads this. I hope I am encouraged to continue writing, by my friends. I hope I am adored and admired by perfect strangers. I hope I am "discovered" and paid millions to write....something. And, I hope I get to the point where I can describe myself, without using anyone else's name.
xo-k